There are a number of reasons that this blog is called Child-led Learning.
My first choice was Learning through Living.
That was taken.
I now see the beauty of the term child-led learning and how perfect it is.
Child-led learning is more than a method of homeschooling, an unschooling philosophy.
Child-led also means that my children have led me to be the parent that I am and the parenting choices I have made.
I have followed their lead from when they were babies and nursing. Sure it took me some trial and error to come to a baby-led method of nursing and later of weaning and potty training. Yet, over and over, I have seen how they hold an internal wisdom and I can be the parent they need by following their lead.
My children have led me on an unexpected journey not only of parenting but also of self discovery.
Not only, have I followed their lead in patenting, but also in becoming the person that I am now.
My children have helped me rediscover myself, who I really am, my true self and have empowered me to be the best version of myself.
If you have never read this blog before, you might read this title and think, “oh she has awesome children who are perfect and do no wrong. She got lucky and has those wonderful children without any problems.”OR maybe: , “she thinks her children are better than everyone else’s.”
All three of my children have mental health issues and are on a prescription anti-depressant.
Two of my three children have diagnosed anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that has seriously impacted their life and even crippled them at times. They are amazing children despite their challenges and because of their challenges.
Our home has looked like a highly dysfunctional home at times.
We have made many mistakes especially when the first child was diagnosed with OCD, or when it first became obvious that she had this challenging, misunderstood anxiety disorder. We did it all wrong before we figured out a better way.
We have been through more than our share of challenges in life.
Job loss, natural disaster, their dad having a massive heart attack and going into cardiac arrest in our home and then spending 12 days in the hospital, financial challenges, missing the signs and symptoms of serious anxiety, missing the signs and symptoms of heart disease, missing the signs and symptoms of severe anemia….
I have had health professionals tell me:
“There is nothing wrong with your daughter, her behavior is a result of your permissive parenting”.- Chiropractor, Chinese Medicine Specialist
I can’t diagnosis him because he won’t complete my standardized tests (he was 5). – Psychologist
“We only work with kids with behavioral issues due to developmental delays” (not due to mental illness).- Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrician
“I don’t think he has OCD”- Therapist who specializes in OCD
I am a health professional and I knew they were wrong, yetI felt powerless to get the help my children needed.
I went to all of these health professionals for help. I went because I know that I am their mother and biased and despite my health care training, I should not be the one to diagnosis my children. I am an Occupational Therapist and it is not my role to diagnosis and yet, I find myself in that position more and more, being able to see the diagnosis, but legally, not able to say anything.
I went to the health professionals to get my children help, I took my children to them because they are the supposed professionals.
The health care professionals failed me, on multiple occasions.
They not only failed me, but challenged my parenting and homeschooling methods, implying and even telling me, that my children’s behavior was my fault.
Did I tell you that I have amazing children?
I do have amazing children and despite all of these challenges and lack of help, support and wrong information, they are doing amazing things and we have pulled through our challenges, pulling through in some cases, and living life despite the challenges.
My daughter has overcome her crippling OCD and is doing work she loves and getting paid for it, she interns/ works with her aunt in dog training. She is 16 and when she was 11, she was stuck at home unable to get in the car to leave the house for 4 or 5 months. She is amazing to me, an inspiration.
My oldest child, my first born son, who became a man at age 13 when his father suffered a massive and severe heart attack, and had to grow up to quickly with his sister’s crippling OCD from when he was 12 years old and who suffered anxiety affecting his function in his new job at age 18 and while taking classes at community college, is 20 years old now and has been working at a job he loves, is building his own business with video production and editing, and working on his associates degree and traveled to all 41 NC state parks in a year and blogged about it.
My youngest, my “baby” has worked hard to overcome severe social anxiety with the help of a good friend and Tae Kwon Do teacher, and through online gaming with a long distance friend, attending weekly pediatric OT for 2 1/2 years, and going to a therapist for his OCD that he has had since age 2, when his father suffered a massive heart attack and his mother, his primary caregiver was gone for 10-12 hours daily for 12 days. He now has plans to start a foundation to raise money to help endangered animals and domestic pets who need homes. He earned 2 gold medals at his first Tae Kwon Do tournament despite his severe anxiety that almost kept him from even competing in the tournament when he was 7 years old. He is proud to be following in his siblings footsteps and working for his aunt at dog agility trials and earning money doing so. He is 9 years old.
My children are amazing for just being who they are.
I wrote about their accomplishments, only because I know all the struggles they have had to overcome in order to achieve these accomplishments and because they achieved them despite their challenges.
My daughter is empowering, sensitive, dedicated, intuitive, strong, smart, wise, fearless (despite OCD fears) and brave!
My oldest son is loving, kind, compassionate, persistent, determined, reliable, intuitive and intelligent, and…persistent!
My youngest son is joyful, energetic, playful, strong, motivated, sensitive, loving, creative, and determined.
I have learned so much from living and learning and growing alongside my children.
The qualities they have, and I only listed the ones that really stand out to me as shaping and overcoming their challenges as well as helping me overcome mine, are a part of who they are.
The things they have achieved are a part of their story and they achieved them because of who they are.
My first born taught me about unconditional love. Becoming a mother was something I had aspired to do my entire life and changed me forever in ways I could never have imagined. My daughter empowered me to be the woman I am. Her natural, “easy” birth and all she has overcome empowers me to overcome my challenges. My youngest, bounced into my life with joy and energy and also strength in overcoming when it feels like “life is against you”. I gave birth to him at home, on purpose, with a lay midwife when I was 39 years old.
My children have been leading me on this amazing journey of life.
I can’t imagine choosing any other path than the life we have chosen, living and learning along side each other following our interests and following their lead.
Child-led Learning 